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I Am a Scared Black Man
On August 1, 2020, I was pulled over by the police while leaving a Target parking lot in my wife’s SUV. For a black man in America today, this experience can change your life or take it. When the police officer pulled me over I had no clue as to why, all I could do was stay calm, be respectful, and not make any sudden movements. He came to the window and told me that he pulled me over for two reasons. The first reason was that my registration was expired. This was fair, but I explained to him that our state had extended the deadline to get the registration up to date because of the pandemic (I’m pretty sure he knew this already). He told me that he understood and didn’t press the issue. He went on to tell me that the second reason that he pulled me over was for a blown brake light. It was at that moment that I remembered my wife telling me that her brake light was out.
After the explanation of why I was pulled over, the officer proceeded to ask me for my license and proof of insurance. I asked him if I could open up the armrest to get my license, he approved. I gave him the license and asked him if I could open the glove box to get our new insurance card since we had just switched over to a new company (I usually keep that info on my phone). This is when things got pretty weird for me. My hands began to shake uncontrollably and my heart started pounding. I didn’t know what this officer was thinking. Did he hate black people? Was he going to shoot me for no reason? These were the thoughts that were going through my mind at the time. This guy could have been the nicest person in the world, and I was thinking that he could try to harm me instead of performing a normal traffic stop. He didn’t give me a reason to think like this, it's just the thing that goes through a black man’s mind when he gets pulled over by a white cop, especially in today’s climate.
I opened up the glove box and pulled out a stack of papers, by this time I believe the officer noticed my hands shaking. The police officer told me that he was going back to his car and to just hold my hand up or honk the horn when I found the insurance card. I told him that I would, but the only problem was that I couldn’t find the damn insurance card. By this time, my anxiety is through the roof because I can’t find the card, and I don’t know how to tell him that. How could a simple Target run for some…
